Get to know me

Hello, friend! ✿

I thought it might be a good idea to have a bit of an introduction post, so we can get to know each other a little! Well, you can get to know me, at least. I would love to get to know you too, so feel free to tell me about yourself in the comments. ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Now, I’m here to answer the question “who the hell is this person and why should I read her blog?” Well, let me tell you:

This is me.

I live in a valley called Snertingdal, high up in the hillsides. We’re pretty much surrounded by forest here, which I love, but there is also a lot of logging, which I find depressing.

We’re known for bad roads and scenic landscapes.

I moved out at age 19, and have moved around a lot since. But where I feel most at home is in nature, or at least close to it.

This is me and my Dutch boyfriend. We met during the pandemic, and moved in together last year. He makes me laugh every day and I call him my emotional support husband.

I have five (5) cats, mostly on accident. They are the loves of my life, and acquiring pets was honestly one of the best things I ever did for my mental health :’)

You open your eyes in the morning, this is the first thing you see. wyd?

My hobbies include reading, drinking too much cinnamon tea, crocheting, gardening, doing my nails, hiking, roadtripping, watching horror movies, playing video games, and taking naps - usually with a cat or two on me.

When crocheting, it helps to have an idea of what the finished product will look like.

He loves books almost as much as I do.

My home is my safe place, and I like to be surrounded by all the things I love, preferably with many reminders of nature. My goal is always for the spaces I inhabit to be as cozy and inspiring as possible.

Autumn is my favourite season. It’s the time of year when I feel most like myself. The weather and all the colours makes me come alive! Halloween is my favourite holiday (I’ll take any excuse to dress up) and as an October baby, my birthday is also around the same time. It’s just the most magical time of year to me.

I am currently writing my first novel, a folk horror story loosely based on a nightmare I had in 2021. The dream stuck with me, and as I kept thinking about it, the story kind of unfolded itself from there.

This story feels like my baby, I’m very protective of it and I’m also very selective about who I share it with, for now. It’s too new and undeveloped to be fully out there yet, haha. If you’re a writer too, hopefully that’s something you can relate to.

Writing is a slow process for me, and more of the work happens in my head than on paper. Inspiration strikes in sudden bursts, and I have to pull over on the side of the road, or jump out of the shower to write right now.

That’s a pretty accurate description of how I function in general, actually. If there’s a window of opportunity to get something done, then I need to act fast. Wait too long, and the window might close, and who knows when I’ll be able to do it again. Could be an hour, could be a few days or two weeks.

I’m still trying to find a balance so I’m not rushing to get things done, but it’s hard when executive dysfunction can be so disabling - you just want to take every opportunity you have to do stuff.

I used to not consider myself disabled, but in truth, I definitely am. The steps required to do something, or just to live as a regular person, are often harder for me than for other people. That’s how you know you’re disabled - perhaps you can do the same things, but it will cost you more, require more (or a different kind of) effort. Plus, you might have less energy to begin with (you know, spoons and all that).

So, you’re automatically at a disadvantage. That says absolutely nothing about your value as a person, it just means you can’t hold yourself to the same standard as neurotypical, able-bodied society, because doing so is the fastest way to wreck yourself. Believe me, I know.

I love being autistic and wouldn’t change it for anything, but it comes with certain challenges, not to mention inconsistent functioning levels, which add a level of unpredictability to my days.

Between executive dysfunction and sensory overload (and other fun “side-effects” of being autistic), having PTSD, and getting frequent migraines, managing myself well is a full time job.

As I’m getting older, I’m understanding more and more the importance of rest and recovery - how vital it is to everything else. But rest, like everything else, requires practice to get good at.

For most of my life, I have struggled with emotional eating. That used to be something I had a lot of shame about, but now it feels more like a neutral fact about me.

We all use the coping skills we have available to us, and past me got me to where I am today, so how can I not be grateful for that?

I’m not where I want to be yet, but my relationship with food and my body has improved so much.

I like my body more with each tattoo I get.

I got the first one at 16 and the process of it felt strangely therapeutic and cathartic (my fellow self-harmers get it lol …sorry, too dark?)

And I don’t really regret my old tattoos that I wouldn’t necessarily choose again today, because they are a reminder of who I was, and that she is with me, the girl who got those tattoos and loved them. She lived in this body too, and she had a right to make her mark upon it.

During & after getting my most recent tattoo.

I love the night sky, the moon, stars and planets. Astronomy was my earliest special interest (aka autistic passion), and it’s one that’s stayed with me my entire life.

I could never feel alone when I’m looking up. Even if I’m really sad or stressed, there is something about the night sky that grounds me every time I see it.

Dark sky conservation is something I’m super passionate about. I think seeing un-lightpolluted skies is a human right, and not something we take seriously enough.

Comet hunting in the sunset on a cold January afternoon.

So, now you know a little bit about who I am.

As for why you should read my blog, I guess that depends on what you’re looking to get out of the experience. Maybe you want advice on PTSD recovery, or to feel that you’re not alone in it. Maybe you want to be inspired to spend time in nature. Maybe you’re looking for permission to be yourself, to be weird, to be openly autistic. Maybe you want to feel better about yourself. Maybe you can’t relate to me at all, and just want to read about another persons experience of life.

Those are all perfectly good reasons and I’m happy to have you here, no matter what yours is.

So get yourself a cup of cinnamon tea, and join me <3